You went to a restaurant for the first time in your life. It was Darband restaurant, an Iranian restaurant at Don Mills and York Mills. You were like a princess there. Of course you were on your dad’s arm at all times. But hey, you are barely forty days old, and you managed.

I was a bit nervous; I was concerned you might get sick by being exposed to people and to the new environment. Your dad assured me that nothing would happen.

Today, I decided not to hold you in my arms every time that you cry and ask for it. I read about it on the internet, and I realized that at around your age, babies realize that they are separate from their mothers. So, each and every time when they do not see their mother, they get fearful, their mother may not come back to them. To make it worse, they have no recollection of the last time their mother came back to them. I would like to expand it a bit and say that if babies do not see a familiar face around hem, they get nervous and fearful. You seem to be fine with me, your father and your grandmother. So, I decided to stay close to you, in a way you can see, hear and feel me. But I won’t hold you in my arms at all times. It means that you will nag, or cry. But hey, it is really impossible for me to keep you there at all times.

You have no idea how we all love you. I have always loved your father. But the love that I have for you is of a different nature. If you ever decide to have a child, you will experience a feeling, which is not similar to any other feeling.

You went to your first party last night. You were a perfect lady, resting like a monkey on your father’s arm, wet your shirt, and, well….nagged a bit, but really really perfect otherwise.

Your first party was at Sahar’s place. I was much more comfortable with the idea of getting you out of the house. I, still cannot work with your car seat, which is partly because of my C section incisions (it is just the feeling, I think I should be really fine with that. Anyways, I think you had a good time. For taking you to the malls or crowded places, the doctor said we needed to wait until you are 2 months old. I agree. I think it is a good idea to take you out to those crowded places after you have got your first shots, and after the weather is a bit warmer, and the epidemic colds and flues are gone.

And…you little girl have a good appetite, and like the taste of food. Your dad takes pride in being the first person who kissed your lips! Well, he sure did kiss your lips when you were just one day old. But just three days ago, when you were barely one month old, he kissed your lips. You enjoyed it more than ever and kept on licking his lips; the reason is….he had eaten some sweets (Iranian Halvaa Ardeh) on his lips, and you were enjoying the taste. The day before yesterday, he did the trick again, this time with the Iranian ‘khoresh e gheimeh”, and …hey, you enjoyed it a lot. Again, last night in the party, Sahar had cooked the Iranian “shivid polo baghela baa mahicheh”, and your dad put his finger in broth, wet your lips with that, and…you loved it.So…your first experiences: your first tastings of foods, and your first party.

I can’t thank God enough for you. You are a perfect baby, a baby every parent would love to have. Just tell me, why were you crying and shouting when you were in your car seat, and even when I took you out of it in Sahar’s lobby? When your dad hugged you, you were totally fine and stopped crying. I still can’t explain it!!

In your earliest days, I never thought I could take care of you myself! I did.

These days, I am soooo nervous and worried. I read about all problems that babies might have on the internet, and it makes me extremely nervous. I hope my anxiety won’t get into you. I do my best to make a warm and comforting environment for you. I play lots of music, classical or Iranian ones for you, even when you are sleeping.

Oh god, you have no idea how lovely you are.

You are one month old now. Actually, you are one month and 2 days today.

I am still nervous. I am so nervous, I get an upset stomach during the day, when I am alone with you in our bedroom. I am thankful, and fearful both at the same time. I am thankful for all the great healthy and peaceful hours and minutes, but fearful about all the unexpected, unpredictable upcoming hours and minutes. This is especially if your father is not home.

You hate being cold! You scream, cry or are uncomfortable if you are cold. I wish I had known this when I was getting you clothes. All your clothes are some newborn normal cotton clothes that were available in the market, at Oosh Koosh, Carter’s or Baby’s R Us stores.

You had some episodes of tummy pain, usually in the evening hours. Actually, you are a bit uncomfortable around the evening hours. This reminds me of “Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde” novel. I am now determined to read that novel some time this year, after I am done with David Copperfield.

I always think about your teenage years. I doubt if you would be interested in being fully and warmly covered in warm clothes even in the coldest days of the year. Teenage girls love to be half naked, and show their beautiful bodies. In fact, I will be the happiest if you do not see the need to show off your body. The reason is, I will know that you have so much self-esteeme that you never feel the need to make yourself uncomfortable for the attention of the others. But hey, I am almost forty years now, and I still feel the need to show my body!! I confess, I do not have a strong self-esteeme, so, what can I expect from a normal and healthy teenage girl.

Your father and I adore you. Your father just asks you again and again, “where were you in the past forty years of my life?” On my side, I am so nervous, I can’t fully enjoy.

Hey, by the way, if you ever decide to have a child (and this would be a great decision; kids are gifts of the Lord), I can share my own experience with you. Do it when you know you are extremely patient and calm, have some time to spend for and with the baby dedicatedly, when you are financially -rather- stable, and preferrably have one person to help you. Make sure that the father of the baby is a responsible and caring man; you and the baby will need it. And, there is a checklist of 6 items you need to check:

1. If the baby is hungry. I can tell you about all signs if you are interested.

2. If the baby has a soiled diaper. This is easy to check. 🙂

3. If the baby is cold or warm. In your case, it took some time for us to discover HOW sensitive you are to the cold weather. We realized it when you were just two days old, but we couldn’t believe how bad it was up until yesterday!

4. If the baby has pain somewhere in her body (including tummy pain). Your father and I can tell you more about it.

5. Baby wants to sleep. Believe it or not, babies don’t know how to sleep. They might need help!

6.  Baby needs to be hugged. 🙂

And…you have to be extremely patient, and trust your baby, and pay close attention to the signs. Some items are easy to try. Some others are not. Again, just be patient, and pay attention to the baby.

Some photos of your one-month anniversary should be uploaded on photo.mansoori.ca. Your grandma in Iran is crazy about you, and asks for more and more photos. Don’t be surprised if you see hundreds of photos of yourself within a couple of months!