You say “bah bah”,but you just whisper it!

That is so cute, we can’t stop laughing and asking you to repeat it again and again.

You kiss on the lips!! and (I am not kidding), you do it in such an artistic way!

You turn the other person’s head towards yourself, put your mouth on his/her mouth, and kiss him/her.

You kissed your dayi Keyan this way, and Bahar and Keyan always mention it, and how unique it was.

You don’t kiss people that often, but if you kiss them, you kiss them a way they never forget!

Your favourite is still your dad.

Whenever I take you out ANYWHERE, people from all ages, genders and types just stop to have a look, and comment us on how cute you look.

If they are iranian, they say ” masshaallaah ” and they tell us that they would burn Esfand for you, or ask us do it.

You are still not quite comfortable with men, and get annoyed and start crying sometimes when they show attention towards you.

You took your first independent steps yesterday some time around 4 p.m. You started walking with support since you were 11 months old. But all the time, you needed to hold our hands or hold on to your toys or your stroller.

You are still not quite comfortable with walking on your own and we have to somehow push you to do that.

You are Sooooooooo lovely.

When you were as young as nine months or eight months, if we got something from you in front of someone, you started crying really bad. I believe you have a sense of pride, and you feel (may be) insulted and offended if this happens in front of a stranger.

Also, if two people are talking loud, or pretend they are being violent, you cry really loud. First you focus and notice to see what is happening. Then if you feel tension you cry out. First time, I observed if when you were around six months old. I thought it was an accident and co-incidence. But next time, your dad was eating pizza and I told him to use napkins. He teased me and tried to touch my face with his dirty and smelly hands as he was eating pizza. I tried to dodge my head. You were watching carefully and alarmed since the beginning. (And we were just teasing!!!). Once your dad touched my face, you started shouting and crying.

Once again, your dad was coughing, and I tried to hit him in the back to help him with passing the food through his throat, because it was making him cough. I guess you thought that I wanted to hit your dad, and you again started crying and shouting. Both incidents happened before you were one year old.

Again, last night we were at a party and Arash place, you dad’s friend. Sahar was joking with your dad. She started shouting when your dad said he wanted to kiss her to apologize for a comment on Sahar’s facebook photo. Sahar started shouting and dodging her head. Again you were watching very carefully and alarmed all the time. You started crying outloud and shouting.

So, honey, you need to know this for the rest of your life. You ARE a very sensitive person, looking for peace and calm. This is not something that you learned. It is inside you, it is your personality. Live, knowing and appreciating, but harnessing that characteristic of yours.

The farsi word for water. You say it now. You use it for water or for food sometimes.

Sometimes you use “emm” for food!

yesterday I noticed that you pressed the numbers on the phone (you could do it since you were six or seven months old, you remember, you called 911?), then you put the phone to your ear. 🙂 You really enjoy it. Previously, you used to pass the phone to me so that I put it on my ear and talk.

It is almost ten days that you can use a sippy cup very easily. Some times to pour the water on your high chair or spill it on yourself, but that is when you do not want to drink water and you just want to play!

Since yesterday, you clearly communicate if you want water, and if you want to taste a food.

You say “Emm”, which is an effort to say “Aab”, the word for water.

Also, if I ask you something, and you want to say yes, you just make a “eh” sound, which has the same intonation of yes.

And, today, you pretended you are crying to put a power cable into your mouth, after we said a power cable should not go into mouth. You knew yourself that you were pretending, and you didn’t expect us to buy it, really. But that was sooo cute. You were enjoying it, and…we adored it.

You have been in two indoor playgrounds before; one for Sahand’s bday party and one for your own bday party.

This time I took you to early years center at thornhill. It is just minutes of driving from our place. You were hanging on me for most of the time, and looking at others, kids and adults. You hit yourself in face with a toy bin and cried a bit. Then you were scared of one big father who was pretending to be a monster, chasing her daughter who was pretending to be a kangaroo. You cried again! You played a bit, chewed on the toys, listened to music and watched kids dancing.

I guess you had fun. I will make this a regular weekly or semi-weekly program for you to go out and play with kids.

You are adorable honey. You need to socialize a bit more and become more independent.

I want you to remember all these, honey. I want you to remember it, whenever you feel too overwhelmed by what life brings to you.

My mom has a “Reza’i” brother. This means that the same woman has breastfed them. This “reza’i” brother is my mom’s cousin (pessar khaaleh). This means that my mom’s aunt brestfed my mom and her own son. In fact, my mom was breastfed by her owm mom (maman massi) and her aunt (khaleh roghy).

My mom’s aunt’s family are not as fortunate as we are. They have never had that much of wealth. Anyways, this “reza’i” brother is called Ali. He has a wife, Zohreh. They had four sons.

They lost one of their sons in a car accident. The other son was married and had a 3-years old daughter. But they had a car accident on the road. The beautiful little girl was thrown out of the car, and died of a concussion. Seatbelts and car seats are not mandatory (or even used much) in Iran.

This son got divorced, I am not sure why. He was around 6~7 years younger than me.

He was arrested with 12 grams of drugs. In Iran, if one carries more than 10 grams, he or she will be sentenced to death. In many cases, they hang the person in public in the neighbourhood where they lived so that others learn a lesson! (I am not sure which lesson exactly).

So, you can imagine how the family may feel. You may (or I hope you will) become a mother some day. You will understand that it is even impossible for a mother to imagine their beloved son/daughter be hanged. But bringing them in the neighbourhood and hanging them in public; it is beyond words.

Luckily, the son was diagnosed with cancer in jail. The mother was trying hard to lift the life sentence, or have his son back home where she can take care of her son herself. They didn’t let her. Again, unfortunately, they were neither wealthy, nor connected to do anything.

Again, luckily the son died of cancer in the hospital around a month ago.

But, there is something more here. Zohreh (the mother) cared enough to send you a gift. She had seen you (and hugged and kissed you a lot), when we were in Iran. She wove beautiful winter pullover, jacket, scarf and hat for you, because (I guess) she wanted to send you something, and she couldn’t afford to buy. She wove them all when his son was in prison and sentenced to death.

I will keep a couple of those pieces for you. Keep them dear and near. Whenever you feel that life is difficult, just look at them and remember a woman, a mother, whose son is in jail, waiting to be hang in public (in front of their home? or at the main intersection, or at the main square?), and she cares enough to sit and weave something for a baby girl, an adorable baby girl, somewhere on the planet, just to show her care and her love.

Their son is now in peace, and so is the heart of the mother.

My dearest Deeba; always love yourself, respect yourself, care for your self, and share the love and care wherever you are, and however you can.

This woman loved you so much, honey.